Running This Business Showed Me My Own Flaws, More Than Anything Else Ever Has

What I've learned most from running a business

Since starting this bath soak business, the thing I've learned the most about is my own personality. Kind of like dating, in a way.

Personality flaws I could normally shrug off became very, very clear once I started running a business. At a company, doing your assigned work well was often enough. In a business, if I don't decide and move first, absolutely nothing happens. Sure, luck shows up sometimes even when you're sitting still — but that's pure coincidence.

A personality that considers the other person's situation first

I naturally tend to guess at and overthink the other person's circumstances more than my own needs. Even when I need to ask for something, I think first about whether it'll annoy them, rather than what I actually want. I'll want to ask a manufacturer one more question and worry about seeming too demanding.

This can look like consideration in a relationship. In business, it becomes an obstacle that quietly lowers how much actually gets done.

I think about the other person's reaction more than my own work. Even when I have something to request, I wonder first — can I even ask this right now? Am I being annoying? Even when there's something I genuinely need to confirm with a manufacturer, I worry that too many questions will make me look demanding, before I've even asked.

Considering the other person's position in advance can be a kind of consideration. But in business, it stops me from clearly saying what I want, and makes me hesitate even on the requests and actions I absolutely need to take. A business only moves forward when I request, propose, and move first — but I think too much about how the other person will react before I even act. In the end, I often delay saying what needs to be said, and miss the timing to actually do it.

Cautious, or just scared?

Both.

Overthinking and worrying too much also showed up bigger while running this business. Even a small decision, I run through so many possibilities in advance that I can't easily land on a conclusion. Other people would've just tried something and adjusted along the way — I'm the type who thinks through everything that could go wrong before I've even started.

Sometimes "scared" is probably the more accurate word for it, not "cautious."

But to my manufacturer, I become a genuinely difficult client

Here's the strange part — this same personality, when it comes to actually making the product, works in the opposite direction.

I'm normally careful about even a single request in case it inconveniences someone. But when it comes to making a product, I watch my manufacturer's face and reaction a lot — and still keep requesting samples until I'm satisfied.

It was the same making this half-bath soak. Our own facility is small-scale, so mass production wasn't possible, and we had to go with OEM manufacturing — meaning the recipe I'd written myself had to be adapted to fit a mass-production process. In that process: receive a sample, revise it, receive another one, request again. I repeated that cycle more times than I can count.

From the manufacturer's side, I'm probably a pretty difficult client. I might compromise on other things to some degree, but that product ultimately has to be sold under our name, and I can't launch it in a state I haven't personally accepted. On anything that concerns the product itself, I really can't concede easily.

The moment a worrying personality actually helps

The overthinking, worry-heavy side of my personality also seems to work in my favor at exactly one moment. Will the user be uncomfortable, could an unexpected problem come up, how do I explain the usage so nothing gets misread — I keep thinking through all of it.

The part of me that can't easily let small details slide exhausts me. But when it comes to making a product, it becomes a force that makes me double- and triple-check things.

Trying not to call it purely a flaw

So these days, I'm trying not to sort my personality strictly into "flaw" or "strength."

The part of me that reads other people's moods too much slows the business down — but also makes me consider the other side's position first. The worry-heavy part makes decisions hard — but also seems to make me spot problems I'd otherwise miss. The part that obsesses over small details makes everything slower — but also keeps me from compromising too easily on the product.

Of course, I don't want to wrap every flaw in a nice bow either. Hesitating when I need to act, reading the room too much, stalling until things feel perfect — these habits genuinely need fixing. (Can they even be fixed? Not sure.) No matter how many good ideas I have, nothing happens if I never put them out into the world.

Changing my personality completely isn't the answer either

Still, what running this business has taught me is that completely changing who I am isn't the answer. In some moments, my personality is the brake. In other moments, it's exactly what keeps me from compromising too easily. Maybe what actually matters is learning when to stop overthinking, and when to just move.

I still read the room a lot. I still worry a lot, and take a long time before acting. But at least when it comes to the product itself, I try not to give up easily on the standard I think matters.

Running this business showed me my flaws more starkly than anything else ever has — but at the same time, it seems to be slowly teaching me where, and how, to actually use them.

And when does the real diet start?

I've put on a fair amount of weight lately. The more I run, the more weight I somehow gain.

I keep thinking I'll add HAPPY TEARS after a run and finally start a real diet — but so far it's all been "diet, in theory only." I really need to. Diet... starting... eventually.